photo by Peggy Braun courtesy of Sohn Fine Art |
We all wandered wide-eyed in Mr. Disney's Tomorrowland, flying to the moon, curing cancer. We were hoodwinked into believing that the epic violence at mid-century was an aberration, that the country would outgrow its racism. We watched as the new cars came off the assembly line and the women waxed their floors on TV and we held fast to the illusion of a future.
Somewhere along the line, while our contemporaries fought in Vietnam, or protested the war at home, or spent those years exiled in Sweden, we lost our innocence. Now, we are confronted with a Candidate who advertises his authenticity, his fervor for "telling it like it is," who gleefully brings the widespread simmering fear of women, people of color and immigrants to a boil. The Candidate serves up a toxic soup - promising to make America great again by playing to a nostalgia for a simpler time that never existed - seasoned with a reality show hot sauce that leaves us desperate for a cold glass of water that doesn't come from the Flint River. What goes around comes around. Some months ago, I saw a post on Facebook that featured a head shot of Hitler next to Trump with a list of characteristics common to both of them. I immediately shared it. Ten minutes later, I frantically took it down, thinking I had gone too far, crossed the line. This is the hopeful child in me, crouching under her school desk in the ludicrous belief that this posture will save me in the event of a nuclear attack. I am a grownup now and can't afford to be so naive.
But what will we tell the children? It depends on our willingness to absorb some portion of the pain of the world, even when it keeps us awake at night or causes us to burst into tears for no discernible reason. Confronting the reality makes it possible for us to know what's at stake when our children ask us difficult questions. The best answers come when we stare down the demons, let them know that we are on to them and will not allow ourselves to be deceived. If we fall for the magician's sleight of hand as my parents and teachers did in the '50s, we will lapse into habits of denial and avoidance. Children know the difference between adults who are carrying a great burden of truth, feeding it to them in digestible bites, and adults who are not paying attention. Children, if they are loved, will ask to be citizens of this fractured world in small increments and sometimes they will see things, like hungry people on street corners, that adults have become inured to. Then, they will be our teachers. We will learn from them that one answer, a first response, to the man's hunger is to give him your sandwich.
12 comments:
Thank you Susie, for this important writing. xoS
Wow.
I'm not seventysomething (yet) but getting there at a good clip, and so a lot of what you wrote hit me right in my own generational center.
This is very wise and wonderful writing. I'm so glad I found you! (Thanks Suzi Banks Baum :-) )
Really appreciate hearing from you. It's gratifying that my blog might have a potentially broader readership. I try to post every two weeks, so stay tuned.
I've been trying to find a center of balance---a place to stand--to confront the Trump phenomenon and this adds to my thinking. Thank you!
Will do - I am now a subscriber :-) - and finding you on my birthday feels like a gift. :-) I hope our paths may cross one day. But for now keep writing! You inspire me to get off my butt and post on my own site more regularly. Thank you for that!
That's all we can ask for. A place to steady ourselves so we don't get knocked over every time we're subjected to more unacceptable speech.
Happy day after birthday and thank you so much for subscribing.
Beautiful writing. All of this, for me, is eclipsed by climate change. I just read a scholarly article where the author applies Worden's grief theory to how best to process the losses already sustained and coming down the road by climate change. Our dying planet. Her conclusion was that to make change, we have to allow ourselves to feel the grief so that it will then motivate us to act. So thank you, Sue, for writing about loss - loss of civility and humanity among the humans.
One place where your thinking and mine seem to intersect is around "denial and avoidance," common responses to loss. We're being called to a high level of courage.
What an extraordinary piece of writing. Your voice is so necessary Susie. I am grateful you speak up. I grew up in South Africa and cowered under desks too, questioning when to speak and when not to. I knew I had to leave, even as a teen. I am so sad this blight has fallen upon your country. Luckily I moved to Canada. Love//Jinks
http://coacharuni.com/2016/05/responding-without-hate/
The website above has some very useful material about coming to a center of balance in this historical moment.
We support one another's courage....So different from how it felt when we were children and the whole adult world seemed out of whack. I carry your voice and experience with me when I write.
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